This blog is dedicated to finding, sharing and discussing a variety of topics around the struggles our clients and audience go through. Each episode we discuss a key concept that many humans struggle with. To give you a variety of perspectives for you to see the concept through so you can find one that makes it feel easier to deal with.
And if you prefer to listen, this episode is available as a Podcast or a Video.
Let Me Tell You A Story…
Instead of my usual blog posts with lots of information for you to read and use in your life, today I want to tell you a story. And this story is also being written / read / told live every Tuesday and Thursday at 8:30pm GMT on (hopefully!) YouTube, Facebook and LinkedIn between 12th November and 24th December. Click these links to subscribe and join us for the next instalment!
Stories have been used for centuries to share wisdom and ideas within our species. And this idea for this particular story came to me a few months ago as a way of sharing some new ideas with people that can improve their life.
I find stories are the best way to get a message across. It is why we like to read books, watch TV series and films. Because stories are a great way to share a message by inviting the reader / watcher / listener to be a part of the story. To become the character in their imagination.
And that’s what this story will do. It will invite you to become the main character, Morgan, and become the hero / heroine of the story!
There will 13 chapters and this will constitute the first draft of this story before I send it to publishers and become a published author. Which has always been a dream of mine! So thankyou to you for joining me and holding me to account to get this planned, written, shared, edited and finally published! Without you, I would probably let myself off the hook (like I have effectively been doing all year since the idea came to me!) and this would never get done.
So I hope you enjoy these 13 blog posts, and if you want to send me any ideas or ask any questions to guide the story or to make it make more sense to you, then please don’t hesitate to get in touch. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, but for now let us carry on…
Read Chapter One HERE.
Chapter Two is HERE.
See Chapter Three HERE.
Chapter Four is HERE.
Find Chapter Five HERE.
Chapter Six is HERE.
Check out Chapter Seven HERE.
Read Chapter Eight HERE.
Read Chapter Nine HERE.
CHAPTER TEN – Responding vs Reacting
What a great night’s sleep! I am woken by my alarm, get up and sort my morning routine before heading out the door for my cleaning shift. I set my alarm for as late as possible as I knew I was having a later night, but still wanted to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for the day ahead.
The weather is still holding, it’s a bright sunny day and the walk to the university is refreshing. Today is going to be a good day. I can feel it! I have two calls with my mentor and people about my new side hustle, and am speaking to the coffee shop owner at the end of this evening’s shift about it as well. I’m looking forward to seeing how it is done by my mentor so I can get up and running myself. I will also be messaging the people I met yesterday to book them in as well.
During my cleaning shift the manager spends some time having a chat with me while I am working in the corridor. They are also interested in my side hustle, so we book in a time to chat next week. But they also want to know if I am free to help at some more later evening events coming up soon. I say yes, and they give me the list of dates and requirements to check against my other commitments and ask for a response by Monday.
The shift goes smoothly, not a whole lot to clean up in most of the rooms, and at the end I enjoy my lunch out in the park with my laptop, notepad and phone ready for my calls. Both go smoothly and I marvel at the ease of the presentation and how my mentor guides them through the call, getting lots of agreement and answering their questions.
I make a LOT of notes.
One signs up there and then, the other needs to check some details with their partner and we book a follow up call. That’s another £250 coming my way! And earnt while sitting on a bench, in the sun, listening to someone else do all the talking.
I am excited by the prospect of doing these calls myself soon in every nook and cranny of my day!
Both calls are done within an hour and then I head over to the coffee shop to help with the late lunch rush, and then spend the quieter afternoon hours reading, and chatting to the few customers who come in. I am quite humbled to see that my Honey Oat Latte has made it onto the main board to be sold as a normal drink.
The owner comes in around 5pm to help with the after-work rush, and when things start to calm down, we have an opportunity to catch up. I actually surprise myself with how much has happened in the last few days! I tell them about last night’s seminar and today’s calls, and then they drop something on me that I was not expecting.
They ask if I want to become a franchise owner of this shop.
I stumble a little, take a couple of breaths, then say, honestly, that I’m not sure what that means. They smile and say that I would be basically buying this business from them, running it myself but with the security of the rest of the brand, and them, to help me. A percentage of the profit would go to them of course, and there is an upfront cost that can be spread across the profits for a little while. But I would effectively be the owner of this shop.
I’m taken aback to be honest! I take a few sips of my drink to buy me some thinking time, but I can tell from their face that they are happy to wait for my response.
My mind goes straight to the money. I guess that’s human nature? It is annoying though… Such a great opportunity, and my mind goes straight to how much it will cost up front. Why can’t it go straight to how much I could earn and the extra time I could spend here? Regardless, it hasn’t done that. So, I guess I have to ask!
I start with a thank you, obviously, then ask what the investment would be. They give me the number, it is actually fairly reasonable and not as scary as I imagined, but is still more than I currently earn in about 6 months. I don’t share that thought, but I do say that I need to work out my living arrangements first.
A smile. A sip of their drink and then another bombshell statement.
The offer comes with the opportunity to rent the little apartment upstairs.
I didn’t even know there was an apartment!
They continue by adding that this comes with a basic security role that allows the rent to be lower than expected for the size of the apartment, and that the furniture is to remain in place to keep with the aesthetics of the brand. This is also because the apartment is sometimes used as an extension to the café or for hosting in person events. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I am eager to see the space if it can be used for that!
I take everything in and say that it is definitely something I am interested in. My thoughts are about all the opportunities involved, and I keep pushing down the doubts and worries that are trying to come up. I tell them that I need to sort my money situation to ensure I can pay what is required and on time, as they have been so giving towards me that I would not want to let them down or cause them problems.
Another smile.
“I knew you’d be interested. I’ve been looking for someone exactly like you for a while now. To be able to expand my business into the next town and test the franchise approach to free up my time to go travelling and do the things I’ve not been able to of late.”
I reply,
“That will be so awesome! I look forward to the days when I am in the same situation, and I am hopeful that this opportunity will provide what we both want.”
They agree and then as it is now closing time, they ask to see the opportunity presentation. I have been involved in a few calls and conversations now, so I send a message to my mentor to see if they are free or OK for me to go ahead solo while the owner locks the door and sets the machines on their self-cleaning cycles.
My mentor responds and tells me to go for it. So I set up my laptop and help with some jobs before we go through the presentation. I am keen to go and explore the apartment but there will be a chance shortly I’m sure.
The owner is very interested in the presentation, and even quips that I could host a group presentation upstairs to show more than one person at once! What a great idea! They then say that they need to check with their partner about one of the things on the presentation, and ask me to investigate the possibility of doing this for the coffee shops as well. I make a note and then they invite me upstairs to view the apartment while the machines finish their cycle.
Wow.
The shop downstairs isn’t massive, about 5metres wide and maybe 12metres long, but the apartment stretches across two of the shop units. It is mostly open plan, with two bedrooms, bathroom and kitchen space. The furniture is in line with the aesthetics of the downstairs shop and there is a curtained off area on one side that houses fold out tables and chairs for events. It is simply gorgeous, and I can already see myself living there.
Now I just have to work out how.
The owner mentions to me that I may be able to get a business startup loan, so I make a mental plan to get to the library again on Saturday.
We finish up the evening jobs, and then lock up and head our separate ways.
Once home I notice a message on my phone. It’s from my ex-partner. For some reason I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. What do they want? I open the message and read it a couple of times. Oh joy… They have realised they made a mistake walking out and want to meet to discuss what happened.
That was over two months ago!
Why get back in touch now? To be fair, we had always been quite on and off. Breaking up every time we had a falling out instead of actually discussing our differences. I’m quite enjoying my single life, doing my own thing, exploring new ideas… I’m not sure I want to be involved in a relationship right now, and especially not with someone who does not think in the same way as I do.
I decide to reply, just to keep the peace, asking how they are doing and saying that things are pretty busy at the moment.
An almost instant reply. Apparently, they know I lost my job? Not sure how… I reply saying I am doing a couple of other things now yes. They ask if they can come over. I say I am working early tomorrow morning. Tomorrow evening then? Again, I say I have plans on Saturday.
Back and forth, back and forth…
Eventually we decide to meet on Saturday evening for dinner. I’m still not sure I want to! Maybe something will come up in the next couple of days and I can cancel. I hope something comes up…
Friday comes and goes, simple cleaning shift, a few appointments for my side hustle, and a nice afternoon walk in the park. I also send some messages to the people I met at the seminar and catch up on their group chat. They have another webinar coming up soon and I volunteer to be the introducer and then the question fielder, which frees up that usual person to take part in another section and set them up as a consultant rather than an admin. Everyone seems very happy with it, and I am ecstatic at the opportunity! We organise a time on Monday evening to do some technology tests to make sure my webcam and mic are up to the job, and I also share the offer from the coffee shop owner to see if they have any ideas of how I could raise the funds I need.
They give a lot of ideas! Thankfully it is already written down as there would be no hope of me remembering them all! A few definitely have potential, a few others not so much, and my mind instantly disregards them as out of my remit (asking friends and family being one!). But the list definitely makes me excited! I spend the rest of the afternoon and evening on my laptop doing some research and making notes on ideas to follow up on.
Saturday, I take the walk down to the library.
I am on first name terms with the librarians now and based on the books I’ve been borrowing and the questions I’ve asked so far, they seem unfazed by my requests about funding for a business idea! I share my list from yesterday with them and they pick out a few that they can help with. Pointing me in the direction of the right forms to fill in and also which financial institutions to approach. I arrived quite early this morning so decide to visit a few with physical locations in town to speak to people there.
I manage to sort out some appointments to speak with people today and both meetings go well. They tell me the sort of information they need and what money I need to provide up front and send me away with more forms to fill in. I tuck these away in my bag and check my messages.
One from my ex. Damn. They haven’t forgotten and are looking forward to seeing me in an hour. We chose a place in town at least, so there is no risk of them asking to go back to mine, and I decide to head back to the library to start on my forms.
Just before 5pm I head over to the meeting place. They are there ahead of me, which makes a change, and we greet each other before heading in. We are shown to a table, look at the menus, order our drinks and food and then I wait to hear what they have to say.
Nothing that they haven’t said before…
At every other time we split up. Still no acknowledgement of what caused our breakup in the first place. I push the point that we both have differing views on money, and that I have a lot going on at the moment. They offer to help with everything, completely ignoring the money topic, so I say thank you for the offer but no thank you.
Food arrives and we tuck in. There is silence for a while and then they start asking if I have met someone else. I glance up, say no, and just say that I am working two jobs now to just make ends meet. They don’t need to know about my eviction, side hustle, the coffee shop offer, or what my two jobs are. I’m getting weird vibes from them and feeling quite uncomfortable.
Then they just come out with it.
They really miss me. Miss what we had. Really do love me. And…
Need a place to stay for a while as they’ve been kicked out of their place.
Yeah… I can feel the old familiar pull of wanting to go back to them and try it all again, it sounds like they have changed…
No! Stop.
No thank you!
I apologise at first and then say that it just wasn’t working for me before. And I don’t think it is going to work for me now.
I think they are just as shocked as me at what is coming out of my mouth! I’m actually speaking my mind, not being nasty but being to the point and blunt. No wishy washy. Which is not usually me! I usually bounce around a subject, not making myself clear, generally causing more confusion but this time I am straight to the point.
It takes them aback, and a few moments pass in silence. They then tell me that I’ve changed and must be in a new relationship but just don’t want to tell them. I say again that I am not and just not interested in getting back together with them.
They act like I have said something offensive, and simply ask if they can stay at mine for a bit. Again, I say no. They start demanding to know why. I motion to the waiting staff to bring the bill, and they continue demanding to know why I am leaving.
“Look. I do not need to explain myself to you. We are done. We are not getting back together. This is the first time I’ve heard from you in over two months, and it is simply because you need somewhere to stay. I’m sorry for your predicament but I can’t help you.”
Again, the words coming out of me surprise me, and are shocking to them as well.
This gives me time to pay half of the bill and leave. Leaving my ex sat in disbelief. But I can feel their anger rising.
I walk quickly towards the bus stop a few streets over, hoping they don’t follow me, but not checking to see if they are. A quick check over my shoulder as I cross the street, and they are. I decide to pop into the coffee shop on the corner. One of the owner’s ones and go straight to the counter as soon as I see the owner. I start up a happy conversation and ignore my ex as they enter behind me. They try to speak to me, but I continue talking at the shop owner. The shop owner leans past me and tells my ex that the shop is now closed and then turns back to me to say thank you for helping with the tidying up this evening.
Thankfully, they don’t push it, and leave. I thank the owner, start to explain a little but they stop me and say they don’t need to know. I thank them again, leaving it at ‘it’s complicated’ and offer to help tidy. They agree and then offer me a lift home once everything is done.
For the rest of the evening, I decide to take another look at what I wrote for my new self-image statement. Much of what I have done today is in line with what I wrote down, and while I am still feeling a little jittery, I am proud of myself for standing up for me. I read through the statement again and then turn to a clean page in my notepad and start writing out affirmations.
It was something mentioned at the seminar on Wednesday.
To write out ‘I am’ statements that are in line with the person I want to become. The person I am becoming. Such things as I am brave, courageous, honest. Punctual, enthusiastic, abundant. Persistent, consistent, integral. Kind, thoughtful, respectful. The list becomes quite long, quite quickly, and makes me realise again that a lot of the things I am aspiring to, I am already starting to do.
I make myself a hot drink after having a shower. All the affirmations still flowing around my mind, thankfully blocking out the conversation and everything that happened this evening. And then I decide to settle down to read the rest of Psycho-Cybernetics until bedtime.
The chapter I am on is about dehypnotising yourself from false beliefs and part of it says:
“In one sense of the word every person on the face of the Earth is inferior to some other persons or person… Feelings of inferiority originate not so much from facts or experiences, but our conclusions regarding facts, and our evaluation of experiences. For example, the fact is that I am an inferior weightlifter and an inferior dancer. This does not, however, make me an ‘inferior person’.
It is not knowledge of actual inferiority in skill or knowledge that gives us an inferiority complex and interferes with our living. It is the feeling of inferiority that does this.
And this feeling of inferiority comes about for just one reason: We judge ourselves, and measure ourselves, not against our own ‘norm’ or ‘par’ but against some other individual’s ‘norm’. When we do this, we always, without exception, come out second best. But because we think and believe and assume that we should measure up to some other person’s ‘norm’, we feel miserable, and second-rate, and conclude that there is something wrong with us. The next logical conclusion in this cockeyed reasoning process is to conclude that we are not ‘worthy’; that we do not deserve success and happiness, and that it would be out of place for us to fully express our own abilities and talents, whatever they might be, without apology, or without feeling guilty about it.”
Maybe that is why my ex said I’d changed so much this evening.
Because I am not doing the things that I’ve always done. I’m becoming a new person.
The book goes on to say:
“All this comes about because we have allowed ourselves to be hypnotised by the entirely erroneous idea that ‘I should be like so-and-so’ or ‘I should be like everybody else’. The fallacy of the second idea can be readily seen through, if analysed, for in truth there are no fixed standards common to ‘everybody else’. ‘Everybody else’ is composed of individuals, no two of whom are alike.
The person with an inferiority complex invariably compounds the error by striving for superiority. His feelings spring from the false premise that he is inferior. From this false premise, a whole structure of ‘logical thought’ and feeling is built. If he feels bad because he is inferior, the cure is to make himself as good as everybody else, and the way to feel really good is to make himself superior. This striving for superiority gets him into more trouble, causes more frustration, and sometimes brings about a neurosis where none existed before. He becomes more miserable than ever, and the ‘harder he tries’, the more miserable he becomes.
Inferiority and superiority are reverse sides of the same coin. The cure lies in realising that the coin itself is spurious.
The truth about you is this:
You are not ‘inferior’.
You are not ‘superior’.
You are simply ‘You’.
‘You’ as a personality are not in competition with any other personality simply because there is not another person on the face of the Earth like you, or in your particular class. You are an individual. You are unique. You are not ‘like’ any other person and can never become ‘like’ any other person. You are not ‘supposed’ to be like any other person and no other person is ‘supposed’ to be like you.”
I think I like that.
I’m thinking I like that a lot. I spent so many years trying to be somebody else. The somebody that everyone expected me to be. The somebody my ex expected me to be today. But when I didn’t show up as them, because I am learning who I am, they got angry. But I guess that is not my fault. I am just simply being me, the me I want to be. The me who has always been hidden, deep inside, who is now coming out and is creating all of these changes.
The me that they know, isn’t me! It was a mask. And I feel so grateful that I have found these books, that I have found this information. That I have got in contact with my friend, that I have been in the same room as that speaker and hearing them speak twice now. This is all opening my mind to so many more possibilities that I could have never imagined.
And it feels amazing.
It feels so freeing.
And opportunities are opening up left, right and centre.
I simply cannot to see where this money will come from to sort out this opportunity with the coffee shop. Because everything I’ve read; Think And Grow Rich, some of You Were Born Rich, Psycho-Cybernetics, You Are A Badass… They all say the same thing.
“We become what we think about.”
And the more you think, the more you feel, the different actions that come out of you, the new habits that you create will recreate your reality in your new image. So much has happened in two months. I am so grateful. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?
What Do You Think?
So what do you think? Comment below with your feedback and where you would like to see Morgan’s story go or where you think it will go! I only have a rough outline plan so far so your input could guide it in another direction…
If this story resonates with you and you want to discuss this further, then get in touch today. Either here or through any of my social medias or schedule a call to discuss it with me directly.
I look forward to speaking with you soon.
To your success,
Jaiye
PS.
Don’t forget to come and join me live if it hasn’t gone past the 24th December 2024 yet! I go live with a new chapter every Tuesday and Thursday on my Linked In, Facebook and YouTube channels and you are more than welcome to join me. Register now!
