This blog is dedicated to finding, sharing and discussing a variety of topics around the struggles our clients and audience go through. Each episode we discuss a key concept that many humans struggle with. To give you a variety of perspectives for you to see the concept through so you can find one that makes it feel easier to deal with.
And if you prefer to listen, this episode is available as a Podcast or a Video.
Let Me Tell You A Story…
Instead of my usual blog posts with lots of information for you to read and use in your life, today I want to tell you a story. And this story is also being written / read / told live every Tuesday and Thursday at 8:30pm GMT on (hopefully!) YouTube, Facebook and LinkedIn between 12th November and 24th December. Click these links to subscribe and join us for the next instalment!
Stories have been used for centuries to share wisdom and ideas within our species. And this idea for this particular story came to me a few months ago as a way of sharing some new ideas with people that can improve their life.
I find stories are the best way to get a message across. It is why we like to read books, watch TV series and films. Because stories are a great way to share a message by inviting the reader / watcher / listener to be a part of the story. To become the character in their imagination.
And that’s what this story will do. It will invite you to become the main character, Morgan, and become the hero / heroine of the story!
There will 13 chapters and this will constitute the first draft of this story before I send it to publishers and become a published author. Which has always been a dream of mine! So thankyou to you for joining me and holding me to account to get this planned, written, shared, edited and finally published! Without you, I would probably let myself off the hook (like I have effectively been doing all year since the idea came to me!) and this would never get done.
So I hope you enjoy these 13 blog posts, and if you want to send me any ideas or ask any questions to guide the story or to make it make more sense to you, then please don’t hesitate to get in touch. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, but for now let us carry on…
Read Chapter One HERE.
Chapter Two is HERE.
See Chapter Three HERE.
Chapter Four is HERE.
Find Chapter Five HERE.
Chapter Six is HERE.
Check out Chapter Seven HERE.
Read Chapter Eight HERE.
CHAPTER NINE– What Do You Believe?
Monday morning and I am awake bright and early. Yes, I have to get to the university for my cleaning shift, but something else has me awake.
My mind is buzzing with ideas, thoughts, worries, doubts, fears, quotes…
It is quite overwhelming actually!
Ideas and thoughts are popping up around my eviction notice and lack of money. And then these are swiftly followed by worries. Then the doubts that I will be able to sort this out without resorting to sleeping on the streets, burrowing through bins for food and then losing my two jobs due to poor hygiene and lack of address!
Breathing is the only thing helping right now and I am thankful to wherever that little voice comes from and my seemingly new ability to hear it. It creates a sense of calm in my current chaos, or what could be called chaos if I chose to embrace it!
I have learnt so much over the past few weeks from the books, seminars, and speaking to lots of new people, and I cannot express my gratitude. My whole world has changed, and if all the things I’m reading are true then it means that everything will continue to change as well.
And it is up to me if these changes are what I want. Or what I don’t.
It all comes down to what I think about and focus on.
“Where focus goes, energy flows.” I remember reading somewhere.
So I’ve been focusing on sending my focus and attention onto solutions rather than the things I am lacking right now… Which has me at odds with myself. The things I want are so big and so bold. Make me feel excited and nervous when I think about them. But then it feels like there is an opposing side in my head, that belittles, judges, criticises my dreams… Tells me I’m unworthy, selfish and unable to achieve those big things and that I should simply go down to the benefits office and slum it out like so many others do.
I would probably get somewhere to live using my eviction notice as proof. But then the notice states that it is in part due to my not paying my rent consistently… So that could make them think I’ve just squandered my money…
No!
Stop THAT train of thought right now!
I don’t want to be scrutinised for my spending and judged for the little I earn and the way I live! No. I can sort this out myself. I’m going to get in touch with the person about house sitting like the old gentleman suggested at the coffee shop, keep pushing my new venture and keep looking for other roles.
Something will come up!
I guess I just have to decide what it is that I want to do… I love my role at the coffee shop, being of service to others and all the conversations with people. But the money isn’t enough. Cleaning seems to be quite low paid and monotonous, so while it is helping at the moment, it isn’t a job for life for me. So what else…
I continue pondering this as I get ready for work and start my walk to the university.
It is a bright morning. A few clouds, but no wind. The birds are chirping happily, and squirrels are darting around the grassy areas of the park as I walk through. I watch other people hurrying to work, running, or walking their dog and wonder what they do for a living.
I know I don’t have the time or money at the moment to pursue some more qualifications, and I think I’m a bit old and experienced to be considered for an apprenticeship. Military isn’t something that interests me either… Maybe something where I can be involved in personal development seminars? Where I can help to organise, set up, sell tickets and sort the logistics of live speaking events. I wonder if that kind of role needs qualifications?
I continue my ponderings once at work and during my shift. Getting the hallways and rooms in one section all to myself, avoiding the toilets and the stairs, so nice open spaces with things to look at and ideas to build.
At break I respond to a message from the coffee shop owner asking if I am free this afternoon to cover, I reply yes and say I will go straight there after my cleaning, then get back to work. I also noticed an email from the speaker, but break isn’t long enough to have a drink, snack, use the loo and read an email!
Luckily, the second half of my shift goes quickly.
I tidy everything up and head out into the park to eat the snacks I also have in my bag and check my email.
They start by saying that they can completely relate, and then congratulate me for reaching out. Apparently, a lot of people just stay within their own circle of friends and family when a problem arises rather than seeking advice from somebody who could help them break the cycle.
I guess that means the cycle we all seem to live in.
Where we stay at the level other people think we should be at rather than reaching for our dreams, daring to chase our goals!
The email goes on to invite me to another seminar. This one is Wednesday evening, I think I remember seeing the advert for it on their website, in the next town over. The topic is something called ‘Praxis’. I will do some research on that later as that means nothing to me. But they say that it could help me to further understand how my mind works and how my actions are influenced by my mind.
That bit sort of makes sense as it is what I have been reading in the various books recently. I keep reading and then spot the price. It’s a fairly small amount in comparison to the main ticket price, they are offering me a substantial discount, but it is still at least two weeks’ worth of food shopping… Underneath the price the email goes on to say that they do understand my situation, from their experience though, it is only the people who pay when they really can’t afford to that actually do anything with the information. People who attend free sessions or have no ‘skin in the game’, very rarely make the changes necessary to get the results they want to see. They are comfortable where they are, so fall back into old habits and stay there.
It is like when people get given a terminal diagnosis,
or told that if they don’t change their life they will die, or they need to be in a life-changing, or life-threatening situation before they’ll actually make any changes to their life. People simply won’t make changes unless they have a damn good reason.
The people who pay to attend with no idea how to cover that cost are the ones that become the success stories that are shared on the website.
That is intriguing… Part of me wants to believe it, but also part of me is screaming that they are just saying that as a sales pitch to make me pay for it when they know I can’t.
It is definitely something to think about.
And as I close the email, my friend’s name pops into my mind. The friend who invited me to that free webinar where this whole journey seemed to start from. I decide to drop them a message asking if they have heard of this speaker and their event this week, and then start walking to the coffee shop.
It isn’t until much later that evening that my friend gets back to me. It comes through shortly after I close the shop and have headed home. They say that they have heard of the speaker, and actually have a ticket booked! All the tickets are also fully sold out and sold out very quickly. I wonder why the email said I could still buy one then?
I message them back telling them about the seminar I went to last week. My friend is very jealous! They missed a ticket for that one by minutes and asked how I managed to get one. I told the truth, as per my new habit, and elaborated a little about my current circumstances since the webinar.
They congratulate me for my proactiveness and ask if I am going to the seminar on Wednesday.
I hesitate.
Am I?
I don’t think there is even enough in my bank account to pay for it… Out of curiosity I check.
Not what I was expecting!
I check my emails quickly. No explanation. I look over to the letter box, there is a sneaky bit of white just visible, so I go get it. It is the last pay check from my old company.
Better late than never!
The letter apologises for the delay and explains that finalising the finances for the company took a little longer than expected. But, because it had been done thoroughly, it means that we are all able to receive outstanding holiday pay and take a share of the last month’s profits as a thank you for our service.
That explains the extra money in my account! The statement shows that I have received nearly double what I was expecting to receive. What a nice surprise!
My mind instantly goes back to the speaker’s email, I can easily afford to go at the price they have offered!
But then another thought pops up…
I should give the money I owe to my landlord… Or keep it to pay for a deposit on my new place. But then I still can’t prove I can pay rent going forward so what is the point in having a deposit? Urg… Everything seems to be just so complicated! What decision am I supposed to make in this situation?
Everything I’ve read says that the only decision I need to make is what I want. Every other decision is then dictated by that because those decisions will get me towards the thing that I want.
So again, what do I want?
Right now? Somewhere to live. A better paid job. To be able to attend this seminar and help me understand all this better! To be in the room with other like-minded people, shifting my environment from one of lack and low income, to then being surrounded by people earning more and doing things that I want to be doing.
The phrase, f*ck it comes to mind!
I open my laptop and reply to the email, thanking them for the information and the offer, and accepting it. I am making a decision for me. Regardless of the circumstances. I ask for the payment details and hit send, then head to take a shower.
The speaker’s reply is ready and waiting for me as I return, and I catch a glimpse of it on my way to sort my dinner. Curious, I open it. They simply say that when the decision is made the money will appear! I click the link to make payment and then reply saying thank you again and how much I am looking forward to the event.
I reply to my friend with the news, not sharing my reduced price, it doesn’t seem relevant, and then have some dinner and settle down to watch some more recordings and read some more of my book before bed.
Tuesday comes and goes,
the cleaning shift goes well, and the late opening coffee shop shift. And before I know it, it is Wednesday morning. The seminar venue is at the other side of the university, so it doesn’t seem sensible to go cleaning, then home, then travel back past the university for an event that starts at 4pm that is an hour away. It is a whole evening event, but I’ll worry about how I’m getting home later. I pack a change of clothes, my smartest ones, lunch, some snacks, Psycho-Cybernetics and You Were Born Rich for the journey, and my water bottle, then head off for the cleaning shift.
After work I get changed and head to the bus stop, eating my lunch as I wait and then spend the hour or so bus journey watching the countryside. I don’t get to travel much outside of where I live so this is a pleasant change. The rolling hills, the trees, the fields. A river and a wide bridge over it.
It is a calming journey, and I am feeling very excited about the seminar and the journey!
Yes, I still have a niggling thought trying to push its way forward that wants me to feel guilty for spending this money not only on the seminar, but also on the journey. I probably really shouldn’t have spent money on myself when there are bills to pay, but that’s the opinion of others isn’t it? All these books and information I’ve been getting says that spending on myself to improve myself is just as important as spending money on bills!
I push the thoughts aside by watching the scenery as it goes past. Focusing on the present moment rather than entertaining what ifs that may never happen.
I get off the bus near to the location of the seminar and walk the last part of the way. I’ve done some research and I know that there are some public seating areas near to the room where I can pass the hour or so until the start. I want to be early, in case it is the same as the one I attended before, as I would love to be in the front row.
The seating is comfortable, and there is a small coffee shop in the corner of the large open space. I choose a small table by the windows and settle down with my books and notepad. Pen at the ready to write down any thoughts or ideas that come up.
“Morgan! Is that you?”
The excited voice brings me out of my daydreaming, and I look up to see my friend hurrying towards me.
They look amazing! So happy, bouncy, healthy and exceptionally well dressed.
“My word! I can’t believe it’s you, how long has it been?”
“A fair while! You look amazing!” I say back. We do a very quick catch up before they introduce me to some of their team members. They are all really lovely and we head over to the coffee shop to grab a drink. It feels amazing to be among a group of people like this, and conversation soon turns to things we have read, heard or spoken to others about recently.
Time seems to fly by and before I know it, I have been adopted by this group of people and even though I am someone who tends to shy away from being around others, I actually quite enjoy it! I guess I’ve never enjoyed people’s company before because the conversation always turns to doom and gloom. Whereas this group of people are discussing ideas, celebrations and ways to get to a better life.
Just before 4, there is an announcement, and we are asked to take our seats. My group happen to be near the entrance doors and take our seats front and centre. Exactly where I wanted to be. I am sitting on the end of the group, next to my friend and say as much to them. We ensure we are ready with notepads and pens at the ready and there is some upbeat music playing in the background.
It feels really different to the last seminar! I still have that wonderful feeling of anticipation in my stomach.
But it feels even more amazing to know that I am taking part this time rather than facilitating.
The introducer walks out, does their bit and then the speaker comes on stage. They look around the audience and wave, waiting for the applause to die down before starting. And then the next hour all blurs into one…
At the break I turn to my friend and simply say, “wow”.
“I know right!” They reply. “So many golden nuggets, I don’t think I brought a big enough notepad!” I nod, agree and look down at mine. I’m not sure how much of it makes sense as I seem to have been in autopilot, writing single words and sentences rather than actual coherent information. But my word, what a great session.
Praxis,
I’ve learnt, is the alignment of belief with behaviour. Which basically means that our behaviour is based on our beliefs. If we want to change our lives, we need to change our actions, our behaviours, our habits. But these changes will be short-lived unless we also change our beliefs about ourselves. They gave the example of someone wanting to lose weight. They could do as many diets or exercise regimes as they liked, but if they didn’t start believing that they could be and already were at their set weight, they would put any weight they lose right back on.
Same with someone trying to quit smoking. They can resist and say no as many times as they like, but unless they start to believe that they are a non-smoker then they will always be in turmoil with themselves and either start smoking again or start another bad habit to fill its place.
A lot of times my mind wandered back to Psycho-Cybernetics and everything about the self-image. Praxis seems to be a similar thing. Belief forms part of our self-image. So to change our life we have to first build a new self-image with new beliefs that override our current ones. If we don’t change our self-image and beliefs first, we will simply have constant imposter syndrome, and no amount of will power will be able to overcome the bad habits and beliefs that have got us to where we are today.
To change our lives, we have to start on the inside.
We have to choose what we want to be, believe we are already that person and start acting like them. The physical world will then catch up. But if we simply try to change the physical world first, it will just be hard and eventually fail.
Some really hard hitting, but logical ideas! Our current self-image and beliefs have got us to where we are today. To get somewhere new, we have to change the programming. Or we simply stay stuck in the cycle we are in.
There was a selection of snacks and hot drinks available at the break in a buffet set up. I wait with my friend and their group to get our food and then we find a table with enough chairs that we can all sit around it. We discuss the seminar contents as we eat and also share some personal stories about our lives that are relevant to what we have been hearing.
I share the journey I have been on the past 2 months or so, and the others applaud my persistence and not giving in. They all agree that something good was on its way for me, it simply had to be, and reassure me that all I have to do is to keep going.
That made my heart sing!
I also mention my little side hustle and wrote down a few of their numbers to call back during the week or weekend to see if it was something they would like to get involved in as well. Apparently having multiple sources of income can actually be more secure and lucrative than relying on just one! That was also very reassuring to hear, and many of the group discussed the different things that they do for their income as well.
After half an hour, we are called to start returning to the room to get ready for part two. The second half is more of a working session with lots of activities to get us thinking about our current beliefs and how we could replace them in order to make the changes we wanted to see in our lives.
Again, the hour passed in what seemed like minutes.
And my head was swimming in ideas, on the brink of overwhelm when the session came to an end shortly before 7pm. Massive applause and thanks for the speaker spread throughout the room and we are all invited to again have a few refreshments and mingle with the other guests before leaving. I know the last bus was just before 9pm so I feel comfortable staying for a little while longer.
I mingle with other members of the audience and make sure that I caught the speaker briefly to say thank you for the opportunity and the ideas that were now flooding through my mind. They ask me to stay in touch and let them know how things go for me as I make the changes I want to see in my life. They seem very definite that I would be making some big changes and reach the goals that I am setting for myself!
I catch up with my friend and the others and they asked how I am getting home, and I tell them by bus as I am between cars, which is the truth, and one offers to give me a lift as there were already a few heading that way. I offer some money for fuel, which they decline, and simply say that meeting me and hearing my story was enough, I smile and say that if I could ever help them with anything then to simply let me know. Even as simple as a free coffee if they pop into the shop when I am working.
Eventually the room starts to empty as people headed home, and I say goodbye to my new friends.
They invite me to stay in touch and I am invited into their group chat and to get involved with their next webinar. I jump at the chance! Then follow my driver out to the car with two of the others.
The drive home was really nice.
We discuss the seminar even further and got to know each other better in the meantime. I was surprised that I was the first to be dropped off, the others lived even further away! I thank them for the evening and for the ride home and then head indoors.
Exhaustion hits me like a shockwave as I close the door behind me. I can’t remember the last time I felt this exhausted! All I could manage was to sort my bag and brush my teeth. I didn’t even manage to get fully undressed! I guess it is true. That you can get just as tired from thinking as you can from a gym workout or a run! But it was so worth it, and I slept like a log until my alarm went off the next morning.
What Do You Think?
So what do you think? Comment below with your feedback and where you would like to see Morgan’s story go or where you think it will go! I only have a rough outline plan so far so your input could guide it in another direction…
If this story resonates with you and you want to discuss this further, then get in touch today. Either here or through any of my social medias or schedule a call to discuss it with me directly.
I look forward to speaking with you soon.
To your success,
Jaiye
PS.
Don’t forget to come and join me live if it hasn’t gone past the 24th December 2024 yet! I go live with a new chapter every Tuesday and Thursday on my Linked In, Facebook and YouTube channels and you are more than welcome to join me. Register now!
